Giving Up the Keys: When it’s Time to Stop Driving

While visiting your elderly mother, you notice that her car, parked haphazardly in the driveway, has some new dents and scrapes that you never saw before. When you ask her what happened, she doesn’t recall how they got there. Or perhaps you’ve been a passenger with Mom driving at 45 miles an hour on the highway in the middle lane, oblivious to the cars speeding by to pass her. You’re worried, but you know that driving is a sensitive topic and your mother is not likely to hand over her car keys without a fight.

The last thing your elderly relative needs is to have a car accident and get injured or killed, or hurt someone else. Yet, losing the ability to drive is often tantamount to losing one’s independence. How do you know when your loved one shouldn’t drive anymore, and just as importantly, how do you persuade him/her it’s time to give up the keys?

While research shows that age is not the only factor that determines fitness to drive, seniors often experience age-related physical and mental decline that can increase the chances of an accident. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) offers these warning signs that an older adult may not be able to drive safely:

·         Driving so slowly as to impede traffic flow

·         Driving too fast for weather and road conditions

·         Getting lost on routes that should be familiar

·         Receiving tickets for driving violations

·         Experiencing a near-accident or crash

·         Misunderstanding road signs and markings while driving

·         Taking medication that can affect safe driving, or being advised by a physician to limit or stop driving due to a health condition

·         Unexplained dents, scrapes, and scratches on the vehicle

A frank discussion of why you feel driving is no longer safe can include your own observations, traffic tickets the senior has received, and/or a health condition or medications that can interfere with safe driving. In some cases, the senior may still be able to drive but with limitations, such as only driving during the day, avoiding busy roads and heavy traffic, and not driving in bad weather. AAA and AARP both offer driver improvement classes for older adults.

Sometimes the conversation to stop driving is best started by a trusted older friend or relative who no longer drives, or by a geriatric care manager. Families may also ask the senior’s doctor to make recommendations, arrange for a formal driving evaluation, or contact the state’s Department of Motor Vehicles to request a driving assessment. Most states have medical advisory boards that can assess at-risk drivers.

Giving up the car keys is a significant lifestyle change, and it’s important to make sure a senior who can no longer drive doesn’t become socially isolated. Have an action plan ready for alternative transportation options, whether it’s friends or family members willing to drive the senior, enlisting a driving service such as Uber, delivery services for food and medications, or community transportation options. The goal is to preserve the person’s dignity, freedom and independence as much as possible, but also ensure his/her safety and the safety of the community.